No way back

I hate waiting, I'm just not a very patient person and the next week I waited on the news that I had already been given, confirmed. When I saw the consultant again with my husband and she told us that the results were positive, I felt as if I was being told all over again. I guess most people hope that they must surely be wrong but, the look on my poor shell shocked husband told me they weren't. The news wasn't that great either. Node involvement and possible spinal hotspots! Was there no end to the bad news?

The nurse also spoke with me...surgery, chemo, wigs....arrggghhhh! Wake me up please!

More waiting..spinal MRI and team discussion as what to do with me. Another stressful week! 

Despite the horribleness of the situation, I couldn't complain about any of my care so far. The Consultant and staff so caring and considerate at every step. My tests done within an incredibly short space of time and again the staff professional and efficient. The only negative is the waiting on results which takes time to report due to the volume waiting to be assessed. 

What a shame that this wonderful service is being slowly privatised through the back door. I dread the day that our care will be determined on our level of health insurance and that those companies will determine if you qualify for a test or operation. God help us!

Valentine's Day and good news?

Today I awoke to beautiful, Valentine's roses and perfume from my husband, and my sister had brought me a wonderful pendant necklace, which was handmade by herself, to a request I made some time ago (a Reiki symbol).  Let's hope today would go on the way it started.

My sister came with me today..I needed her strength. I wasn't sure that I would be able to make sure that the consultant would go with what I wanted.

I had already emailed her with questions about my care and spoken with her on the phone but I wasn't sure what her team had decided on. 

I had no sooner sat down than I was being whisked away for another ultrasound! My lymph nodes were being checked on both sides...and there was some good news it looked like only one node!

There was more good news, the spinal MRI was clear. I breathed my first sigh of relief and so did my sister! (and my poor hubby when I let him know)

Back at the clinic, the consultant wanted to wait another week and get an MRI done first. I had to speak up. I told her, with conviction, that I couldn't wait...waiting didn't work for me...I needed, wanted surgery asap. I wanted the cancer OUT! Then chemo, then reconstruction. Both my sister and I persuaded and put forward our argument and then she said..."oh all right! People think I'm bossy but I've just been pushed over by someone half my size!"

So that's it...the plan...the path that I just need to keep walking till I reach the side where the sun comes out..and stays out!